Scars made of Stars

From the heavens you could fall
but of fault you are born
a masterful withdrawal
in linen and silk torn
a masterpiece
never been noticed
beyond the most brilliant man's sight
you could be resurrection
in a scar's vision focused

tortured in reprieve
a magic trick sleeve
i see through your mirror
the shocking true terror
a glowing bright quasar
in a milky way bar... always the token

this side of Jupiter
you smell of sweet jasmine
i long for you near
but you still hide in the dark
will you come to me sweet prince
I who will mend your wounds
or continue to hide
in the cavern subdued?

love is missed love that kissed the rattle snake dancer
a poison to hit the tired heart core of this sinful romancer
if god is a lisp at the tongue of your jest, will i ever succeed?
I love you like wine on the tender ripe vine and its all that I deeply need

fractions of chaos in the mist of fantasy
a gravestone permits the tender sweet hiss
when we all give in to fancy

perfection is lust when we learn to trust
the grave robber in twilight
nothing is true but the glow i can taste
it comes from your birthright.

cry a tear baby boy
for i will hold you ever near
your pain is my dark cancer
i catch them sublime
like the sour lime in my margarita
a cruel necromancer
with each tear i will fall
catch them in my hands
like meteors of the night sky
kissing them away
as your heart they fray
to shreds and asunder.


love is missed love that kissed the rattle snake dancer
a poison to hit the tired heart core of this sinful romancer
if god is a lisp at the tongue of your jest, will i ever succeed?
I love you like wine on the tender ripe vine and its all that I need

let me heal the senseless ordeal that burdens you so.

because love is pain
but pain can be cured
when one comes along
to remove those who would harm

those absurd.

SUNSHADE MIRROR (A FANTASY)

We could be as it were, truly lost in our self-deceit
living on and under the requiem for fantasy
illusions that skate gently in haphazard contempt for morality

The greatest lie is that which points the finger proclaiming such.

Simple slave, after petty martyr

all loss for life, it left these shallow halls without an echo!

For not the faintest flick of the wrist shall spring forth,

as you weren't worth the moisture of my tongue’s movement, nor release.

If funeral shall come, it was the bravest and wisest who shall attend.

Not in tears, but the velvet lining that has condemned them as bedding sweet.

Sleeping in the ever so clenching hands of eternity and not a man, nor sin is spun.

The quilted shambles of life you shall insert. 

My heart has but been birthed………… the shade that creates a sun.

Society Currupt File.bat

A simple resolution
in a morality contribution
a taste for retribution
when everything is a futon

If you claim to be
let me see this reverie
a taste of honey
in an environment stress free

haphazard wire crossing
dump your rash cross hatching
fear for fear junkie is junking
power house error patching

Entertain
you clown membrane
connection dysfunction
societal corruption

I hope you know
the love I have for you
supersedes this vibration
diagnosis my illusion

RUMORS OF THE HEART

I left a message in your circuit
you left a burnt up letter
I left a heart in your basket
you left a rotten apple

I left a tear vile full of sadness
you left a rumor
I left my heart shaped glasses
you left a knife

I left a memoir of scrolls
you left your mother
I left a glass of wine
you left a judge

I left my most prized possession
you left a stone
I left my soul in regression
you left a book you never read

I left my love
you left me, and my love

on a street corner
begging for food

GYPSY HEART

In someone else’s shoes
trading counted change
for smiles and laughs

All that is mine
isn’t really mine
every little dime
my greedy crime

This hat I found
abandoned like me
it fits me well
as does my apathy

Leave me to my pity
I have none for anyone else
I have a gift for you
it’s my absence

I pray it’s not felt
this path I tread
from house to house
no home no heart

Nomadic is my art
my friends my tribe
love is my currency
the latchkey scribe

The wind always at my back
the earth below me
the water I travel by

Fire… to remove and renew

And start again

ETHREAL LOVER (the air of the phoenix)

Are you bird, or angel?
you have a smile!
it can heal the deepest wound
you are the glow
it can bring the world back together

As you bend the light around my core
the warm glaze of love stabs me blindly
my eyes open, and I see
you are all around in everything

and I cry.
Because I am truly loved
for the first time

O hark! The heavens have fallen
and caress me as the blanket of empathy
the broken bones and shambles of my soul
you hold it in your fragile hands

the gentile wind that touches
the burning face of my fire mask
you make me shine
a supernova burst of the heart

it spreads into the universe and creates life anew

without you

this phoenix would surely remain ash

You are my morning  dew

My waking breath of life

A DANCE FOR THE ILL HEARTED

Madness and debacle
look at these boys chuckle
not a single smile has lies
but nor a truth exist

dancing in their wicked love
haunting with their blessed curse
every judging glance you give
woven into my lyrical verse

I had a hope a question
without answer blown in leaves
the monastery of my black masses
is a church of much disease

but here I give an answer
not purely true but it shall hold
we swim free as the fish
each of us a unique mold

Together we sing,

when acceptance leads us home.

di550rd3r in 0rd3r

7he 3clipse has m45qu3r4d3d withiN a BraIN on sImpl3 Pl3a5ur3 m0d3
DR4IN DR4IN my FaCi57 h34r7!!! I 5up3rc3d3 7hi5 g0dle55 f0rM (little horn i5 born) MaY i 5uffoCa73 l1k3 the LaDy oF 7h3 l4k3 and FaK3 mY 5uiCid3 for 7h3 croWd 3v3rgrOwin9?

*powders nose*

I'11 7ak3 a 5ou1 in 3xchAn9e f0r mY f3573r3d H34r7.. 7h3 1nf3c7i0n 9roW5 f0r 7h3 b1inD... My Cun7 b39in5 @ mY& mOu7h.

EmbrAc3 7h3 haPh4zarD Chi1dr3n tHa7 I fUcKeD wiTh c0lD r4zOrz

(all fucked up, and d3ad to the world)

God's Gif7 (the lie)

The slut that has not forgotten his name
has forgotten himself again
rape me mundane
give me a clueless pill to live in still
horrid creatures of love's grand design
are nothing more
than god's gift of lies

Heaven seeking injection scaring the moron is the cave
hide hide hide your eyes, drugged and here
here and there with the fear

if I lose a cell or two. i'll reform
im never doomed..
but i taste atroph e
coming to take my soul away

breathing the loss
breathing the pain
that hasn't happened
but all the same
i dread

Bleed for loin cloth tattered children
fallen like jesus (he dies)
morons taste the tears of addicts
on sunday, they say he was warned

give in, give in
the bombs have been sent
if all that life is
is this puzzle bent
then let me be free
where i'm forever heaven sent.

(a true lie)

Survived You

Stars Projecting
something Heart wrenching
given a choice
i'd rather be bleeding

I lost it all when i lost my needle
i loved it all when i was never
there

there

you're fucking everywhere
but you forgot me here

has time relapsed.. am I even a memory
or just a functionless doll..
the dog you forgot to feed?

the child you used to BEAT?!
the loser you DISCARDED?!
the asshole you would't CLAIM?!
the heart you STOLE AND MAIMED!?
the fiction in your STORY?!
the HIGH AS FUCK witch or INJECTED PRINCESS?!

shackled to what i used to love
was just the rememberance of
a Tweaked out soldier
with nothing to fight for.....
(the corpse on the battle field)

My Heart Survived You

Bird of Paradise

Stars, Bars and parlour tricksfor the wise old bird of paradise
he has a rhyme or two to seemingly commit
give a seed, to grow a tree within his tender soil

(SOUL)

for his shelter holds the key
to the difference between you and medeep down the cauldron boils
a year ago i was nothing
now im something more than something
to be pondered or ignored
but as it is the bird is old and melting
age is what you feed it
When left to simple toys.

My Phyche is Killing Me

You arent real
just a shadow in my dream
you arent real
just my memory relapsed
just the puzzle that collapsed

if all that is was the was and is what is could be
then would i be me?

the memorial of backwards thought for the framed children of time
this was never real(yes it was)
my denial is killing me

fever symptoms are increasing and i feel tired
(was I asleep?)
this forgotten territory
that i have traversed what versed in my consious forgiveness
you lost me on 5
5
[R>you regret yourself because you were trained to remember what your parents have left behind
traces of youself.. its then you fear

DONT BREATHE.. ITS POISON
DONT EAT... its fucking up my mind

SWALLOE
SWALLOE
your pride
and don't be afraid of what's
BEHIND THE VEIL

my Psyche is KillInG mE

Dare Cycle

All the crimes and rhymes of thought
that have such little meaning
are tied into my little knot
that i cannot untangle

and if they fill the pools of my existence
with wine
who will drink the sour grapes
of my soul?
who DARES get drunk on my heart?

the arrogant intoxicant of truth...

all that we build so destined
for destruction

our world is cyclical
a rapture in circles

                                   always going

to come round

                                    

                                                       again.

Print Expiration

Give in, Give in to lavender and sin
the taste of a grimmace
and the things that aren't thin
FAT PIG FUCKING PIG
yes, yes you are.
you may not look it but in your heart
its your shining s(c/t)ar

one last drop of this elegant liquid
to make you a prophet
you havent the skill or thought
to think that i've more of it.

my 8 ball can make a couple halos
they disappear magically
with a 100 dollar bill.

the thorn of your arm that isnt there
until you feel the pain.
heres something that you know
is not in it for the fame

laviathan and splinter the fusion of our fear
The spiral's tail comes round to show
that nothing is for real.

nothing is there to feel.

and 15 minutes is up.
never knew i could expire.

The boy who knew (of) nothing

you wander though the darkest wood..
aimlessly..
you dont even know
nothing shines for you
you are too blind to see

your age is showing
your mane is thinning
although i must say
you never were the king of any jungle

just a lost kid in a maze
the one that has no end
because it is without meaning
the thoughts from your cave

you silly silly boy
you are not even a toy
too selfish to see
that you hand out nor pleasure or joy

just lines and words that fade faster than cocaine
you have so little on your mind
you are far closer to understood
than a six year old's game

your fascination with yourself
creates a name so dim
your mirror will cut you
when you think you are about to win

you are cold and calculating
nothing worth loving
just give in and you will notice
that you have been crumbling

seeds that never grow are not seeds at all..
just rocks falling away
in times crewl hand.

child you are more lost

than a mage of a blind faith

havent learned to breathe

just feed

feed

your mirror sees more truth than you know

your lines are showing

and they fade in meaning

faster than Ketamine

you could never be

a fucking cobain

so breathe.........................................

keep dreaming

keep dreaming

you know nothing

you are nothing

so run away.. and maybe find your home
so fade away and learn time's crewl deal
you better fold
your hand is not so good
you could lose everything
if you dont give in

just know you aren't perfect
there is no perfect
know your perfect
as flawless as the cracked mirror

your age is showing
you havent a clue
your mane is thinning

though i must say
you were never the king of anything

--dedicated to (CHRIS) cunting(HAM)--

Cut my Vain God

Do you know me? Mister Fragile...
the opium of your mouths
speak speak lies and turn tables
to your wishes and your games.

monopoly teaches
the lives of little leeches
prey
joyfully on things they throw poison
rats and other vile things
to make all theirs they wage war
endlessly if they need.

and my response is.

am i pretty when i slit my wrists
and bleed on your feet?
am i the goat that you saw
in the shadow of a pentagram?
the monument of a dead god
easy to tear down?
the face of evil when im not
the dogma you hoped
would help you get your crown?

well happy dagger and get your guns
to rush into town
the unhappy townsmen have proclaimed
the i am a beast who needeth be slain.

this is your words in vain.

you are vain.

and I cut mine

Delete *.*

delete your fears
tho I may never touch you, have you, steal you, be of you... you are a passion I can feel.
if I was breathing, you are a crisp air.
the feeling is residual in a capsule such as this.
I have nothing to fear but fear itself... and true beauty that I watch and that sits perfect and pure upon golden shelves.

scars, scars, and destructive mars thus the planet of war.. how can i be as pure.. how can i be born anew?

this impurity in me makes me feel so ill..

because its the one thing.. that rapes and breakes my very seal.
this is vivaciousness, the very cause of sin.. but when all truth is told.. its basic fact... one can't win.

Drowning in Rapture

Dont.. dont drown
I'll be your life support

dont... dont frown
I'll be your product report

file me...
plug me in...

into your heart

its a start.

just dont spin out of control
like you used to
Just dont give up like
you usually do

Romantic Tragedy, Stigmatic Calamity
we are
the abused

fearles and violently breaking our
our souls
our souls
have been infected

Rapture has captured us
its got its chains on me

GOD the executable file

The ever revolving pendulum of my senses are foiled by the redundant

havent seen god but once... he cuts me with knives and pickles my liver

this is not reality.. nothing is.. all just a visual catastrophie in a planet we call home

DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART
DIAL MY HEART .......... if you feel this recording is an error..

PLEASE HANG UP AND DIAL THE NUMBER AGAIN

Quote of the Day

"Tis only wise to be shallow when near a small pool of water."

 -Damian Wilde

Dogmatic Guild

Faulted reality

faulted circumastnce..

if you are an angel

a massiah, i liar

then where is your stance?

you havent been saved

you have only inhaled toxins

this is more simple..

then you seem to realize

your dogmatic focus

your followers guild

if all this is what you belive in

then it's failed religions you build

and i have no part.. for i am the observer.

and i dont like liars.

The Life Stigma

THE LIFE STIGMA:
_________________________________________________________
when the world turns around.. it makes you wonder if we only
remember our own names because we have had them being forced
in our faces in the way of yelling or in the way of love filled
words.

Maybe a mixture of the two.. but In my case I think it would be the
first. Perhaps it is my fault, perhaps i'm just daunted by the stigma
of this society.. but all in all its just a facet.. not even a reality
its just a dream that is never going to happen.

A dream... something we aren't alowed to have. Held Highly in our collective
thought but not even considered to be a way of living..
At birth the child is innocent... unknowing of the pain that awaits their
poor souls, and the fear that engulfs the mind when the mind sparks to
individual thought.

The realization that you were not brought into the world to be taken care
of but to survive and struggle then maybe take care of someone else
be it lover or new child.
This cycle seems redundant and lacking of purpose but we all go on
and seem to revel in this.. creating our problems or giving up on it all.

What is your deepest fear?
dying alone?
buried alive?
being poor, perhaps even homeless?
having not a friend to run to?
loving in vain?

All so viable in this enigmatic revolving door...
In one side, out the next.

Our life sequence is nothing more than the sign of our struggle.
Love.... love has many levels. this is what makes it hard to understand but
I understand... I have seen it come and go, come and go.

So many worries.. for a life that has such little meaning... there is some, don't get me wrong.
but for the most part, and for some life is just an upwards latter to "sucess".. a war for material goods
that will not be there in the end.

others tho... spend their lives in search of their own soul and others that share one similar... stuck in the fly trap
or flying free in their own temporary heaven.. it can go back and forth.
Once again... all in cycles.. a circle is our program. empty trash. pick up aquaintances.

Confusion ensues when one thinks back at what was ugly, and that which was beautiful.. do
we know the difference?
The mountains are beautiful.. no they are hell on the feet and oh the pain of the pressure pushing
non-stop on the eardrum untill that sudden and painful pop.

This numbing of the senses other than when we decide to feel the need to do so.. the mask that is involved in meeting people.
putting our best prosthetic foot forward. I'm wondering if the mask is created by ourselves in all natural circumstance,
or are they the reminance of past pain molded into a character that one feels the world might love?

OK this thus far has been quite depressing...I'm not saying there aren't good things in this world, there are...
but taken in the wrong order or steps these things can be hazardous... to ones health even, I'm quite sure

Dispite downs un-imaginable... love has its ups as well... but that... is only the beginning.
I Didn't work hard enough for it.
My heart is a broken monologue, never intened for mass production.
I'm Blue inside. Living on kool-aid, the occassional cigarette and scraps thrown down to me, Im officially a shell of a man.
Pull your pants up.. roll over. It never happened.

Friends are foes... and vise versa... You don't want to take your eye off of either of them.

THe female of the spiecies is more deadly than the male...
women are smarter, women are smarter.
the reson to my infliction that females are more dominant seeking is this.. in nature
female creatures are always attacking or killing the male after breeding.. and if they dont breed its worse..
they must show their nurturing dominance, must inflict some sort of pain... either egotistical or maternal
this is the cycle of life. this is living.
all they know is to destoy male dominance.. in human culture this does not exist without conciquense therefore it is not nessisary
in law but in instict.

clean the pool.. cleanse the bathroom. see your friends when i'm ready.. im in control.. "who's in control?"

my indecisive action that is no action at all is looked down upon like a father, I don't know what
I'm doing I know exactly that.. what am I doing?????

Talking is just that.. talking...

One can learn more in lisening than in talking.. listening is the key to dealing with all that is valuable.
you aren't helping your fatigue.... you are feeding it with fear...

nothing can help those who do not help themselves.
working with loathing dreams.. living in them.... feeling them.... hoping for them.. to feel.
it will be fine.. give to me. the work of the night is done.. the miracle is blank..
surpass death.. and live in the now... "the now" loves you and you are blind.

who sees shadows.........?

haphazard attitudes are that which i adore,
but when turned to face me... they are all that I abhore.

Love and childhood can be so decieving, but birth can be relieving
I had a son today... and I saw myelf in him
a child with pain, with misery

i was his father and always will be.
I hope I am the only that he sees  because I love him.

THE CYCLE:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Cycle spins as we count on our hand the meaning of reluctance.
Waiting to see where we end up... what is our Number, where is our Home?
Will we be stuck in this feedback loop..? this un-ending reticulum or is the shift around
the curved corner waiting to pounce on us as we feel our worst..

In un-ending attempts to keep ones dignity and sanity we hopelessly try to tear ourselves
from the spinning wheel we have grown so fond of, tasteing only what is given and not trusting that
which is found.

Drugs supercede ignorance for they dissolve barriers and walls... curruptive
inputs are locked down and destroyed with a blast of glory and a moment  all your own.

You are the cycle.. you have become the boredom.. forget your rationality and dont forget intake.
Input what is not forgotten and lose that tired trash of reminissence for it never got you anywhere.

May I hope to dream of the dreams i live, for they are one and the same and they are me.. in a drizzle
of non-liniar lines and warps we twist ourselves beyond the point of god. 3......2......1......

DOSE TIME: 11:11 - 11:12

when the sound gates open to our un-heeding cries and the crowd sings of glory, we fire our emotions
a furry of sparks and impulses into the very genetic structure of our world.. we ARE earth.
We are a part of its breathing structure... its very cells.. its movement. a bouncing raquet ball in a cube.

EGO is the birth of jealousy and deciete.. watch it closely and may its age never show.
I havent opened my present yet dont re-incarnate it.
I left some tea on the table for you so you can intoxicate your temple of lethargy.
*sigh*
Im Blown into Your Image. The gust is a Guilty Pleasure.

101012202203303304404405505506606607707708808809909910101010111111111212121213
(half a days cycle in one strand)

Daydreaming is mearly a luxury afforded by only the poor, the young, and the old.
The only difference between the elderly and a child is that the young look to the future whilst the old remember the past.

a quiet moment, only an adventure when fighting to save oneself from themselves or daydreaming... the gold of youth.

and losing to eternity and all of us begin again, from the ending point of a conjoined reality.

W3 4R3 7H3 MV5!C M4K3R5, A]\[D W3 4R3 7H3 DR34M3R5 0F DR34M5

I was once like you

but now my heart is a genocidal-power-conductor and transducer

bent on the annhialation of the swan

and the riveted monosyncronisity of the human culture

we are the abandoned focal point.
the metronome of decay.
and our eyes are golden cameras

   (((always watching)))   

these forbidden fruits and larval mechanics
are our symbiotic lovers.
we cannot be stopped.

and we have your children.

(we are alive.. but barely breathing)-----^----^----^----^------------

Sacrificial Dream Spiral

I slept to dream.
and I remembered you all.

the scarred, the tainted, the wicked, the fall.

I left it all behind.
built up a great wall.
lit a fire with my heart.
and consumed my very fear.

now nobody can take it.
and nobody can break it.
because it's not there.
and nothing will change it.

except for one. who is unspoiled and true.
a beacon in the dark
a glittering boy blue.
eyes of emerald. that can tell no lie.
smile of a god
and one who needs no aliby

if I am your drug than you will be mine.
just say the word and we can be of the Self Sacrificing Valentine

close our eyes and see what cannot be seen.
and one who like me sees the miracle under the seam.

stitching our resurrection
our guilded invention.
this heart we shall build
beyond comprehension.
a monolith to the vine
in this machine so divine.
we wire through eachother
and are one broken mime.
without a word
without a tear
we will be together


always right here.

spiraling outward

our abyss of sensation.

building our own.

perfect creation.


but all this............................. is just a dream..

Quote of the Day

"Once the age takes its toll and the beauty fades.. all that is left is ones mind. and an ugly mind with nothing to say.. isnt worth anything."

-Damian Wilde

Life and the Death of the Party (Essay)

"Lend, lend your wings! I mount! I fly! 
O grave! where is thy victory? O death! where is thy sting?"                                                        

                                           -Alexander Pope

    I felt the sting once and when it hit I didn't see it coming. Awake only in a dream, never knowing that I could have been lost  forever. This was my last and first day in this world. Some might say that one can never be too careful. This statement may hold more water than I once expected. This is the accident that almost killed me and saved me from myself.

            It all begins with a night out at my friend Jimmy's house. Just a typical night but this night in particular he was having a party with some people and I decided to visit as well as possibly stay a day or so.

            "Jimmy you still having that party tonight?" I asked him on the phone

            "Of course girl! You coming?"

            "Yes, we will be there shortly."

So Lori and I went to his house and there were people some of whom we knew and some of who were strangers from previous engagements. This night in retrospect would end for Lori like any other night, but not for me.

            The night continued and there was drinking aplenty and many conversations to be had. Discussing art, philosophy, rudimentary ideas and thoughts. We were in a house where art was a key element for which most of the people I knew there focused their lives upon. As the night progressed the house began to empty but I started feeling a bit odd and out of sorts. I had in fact been drinking but this was different. A slight feeling of disconnection came over me and I found it hard to communicate normally. Then it appeared I wasn't at the party at all.

            I was talking with a geisha in what appeared to be a multi-leveled Japanese dwelling. They were telling me to cleanse myself and the chopsticks that I took from the bowl on the staircase had stuck to my face. Then just as abruptly I was in an office on what appeared to be a phone as if I was a telemarketer, the voice on the phone telling me to breathe. I closed my eyes and opened them to find myself in a dark room, the  walls sheets of metallic material inflating in and out all around me. Hearing nothing but voices discussing bringing "him" out and how "he" could go into shock. I was hence then pulled out by some unseen force as if being born from the womb again.

            Slowly my eyes began to open (this time in a real setting) everything was a bit blurry and there was a lot of white. As my focus returned I started to make the realization of where I was. I was in a hospital! Doctors standing around me and my father's wife Carrie who I guess was allowed in there because she is a registered nurse. I was then informed that I had been drugged at some point and aspirated during the night of the party after passing out, dying once and had been in the hospital comatose for a week. It took a week or two prior to get back to normal body operations and functions.

            All of this as a cohesive whole did nothing short of making me realizing how quickly it could all come to an end. Life is a short game and I wanted to accomplish so much more than I had been at that time. I made it my goal that from then on I would do all that I could to make my life worth more than some party kid statistic ending in a hospital bed at the age of 22.

Generation Rx (Essay)

"It is a schedule two narcotic, along with heroin and cocaine. That's an official designation.....And there is some evidence to suggest that it causes atrophy of the brain." 

..[if !supportLists]-->-         ..[endif]-->Interview with Dr Peter Breggin on Ritalin (http://www.whale.to/a/ritalin_q.html)

In today's society we lead busy lives, pay bills, run around getting errands done, go to work and, or school. The children of this country may not have as many responsibilities but they are no strangers to stress which may or may not cause them their own mental disorders or confusion. Now that taken into consideration, where is the line drawn when it comes to deciding which child is just a little energetic or well, stressed and which one truly has a mental disorder? Do we even know? Or are we really just raising Generation Rx? This overuse of psychotropic medications on children with little to no research available is quickly becoming an American epidemic.

            The use of mood altering drugs among children under four is on the rise. For Example between the years 1991 and 1995 Ritalin nearly tripled in use (Turner, http://www.brown.edu/Administration/George_Street_Journal/vol24/24GSJ28d.html) and at least 500,000 children and teens were taking Antidepressants as of 2000. (McManamy, http://www.suite101.com/print_article.cfm/depression/32180) These Numbers are catastrophic in proportions. Could this really be the number of kids who are truly afflicted with these disorders? The pharmaceutical and medical industries may be a little diagnosis crazy. Many of these medications are basically stimulants and within the 90's to 2000 the use of such stimulants on children with behavioral or emotional disorders has increased drastically. (Zito http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/283/8/1025?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORM

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AT=&fulltext=kids+and+medication&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT)

) Kids 5 to 14 have been some of the highest age groups medicated for ADHD.

            Many Side effects arise from the use of some of these psychotropic drugs. Clonidine research has shown that this drug is known to possibly produce adverse cardiovascular effects including bradycardia, a slow heart rate, usually of less than 60 beats per minute. Clonidine has an unusually high risk for poisoning and the extreme use of this medication for ADHD. (Zito http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/283/8/1025?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=kids+and+medication&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT) We could be altering normal human behaviors with these medicines. Lexapro being a popular anti-depression drug in fact manipulates (artificially) the chemicals of the brain that control thought and feeling. Adderall, yet another famous ADHD drug is known to cause insomnia, and extensive weight loss. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html) Data from Pfitzer, a pharmaceutical company, regarding tests on children with some SSRI medications created a dose-dependant agitation in pre-teens and teen kids which occasionally amounted to suicidality. (Healy, MD, http://www.ahrp.org/children/healy0402.php)

            Overall there has been an obscene lack of testing on how these drug treatments will effect a child in the long run. When it comes to how drug therapies work on preschoolers based on population, the study is fundamentally absent. There is very little information on the effects these studies may also have on the brain. (Turner, http://www.brown.edu/Administration/George_Street_Journal/vol24/24GSJ28d.html)

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Grade school or high school kids do little benefiting from side effects such as weight gain, jitteriness, or a flat-lined personality. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html)

            Minimal amounts of testing that has been done is mostly far from agreeable. Some anatomical differences have been discovered though MRI in the brains of children

whom where medicated. Doctors are not sure if this is a good or bad thing. It is also very difficult to acquire volunteer kids for study. Kids are easily bored and by the time any good results could be found they would be grown and off to do their own things as well as possibly off to college. Not to mention the daunting task of getting parental permission to have such studies commence in the first place. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html)

            Many of these drugs were developed and tested exclusively for treating adults. These medications effect children differently than adults. Evermore interesting to note is the fact that these mood altering drugs are not approved by the FDA for children at all and are being prescribed "off label" to treat mental problems they may not even have been intended for. (Park, http://time.blogs.com/daily_rx/2005/08/psychotropic_dr.html)

            There is a shortage on adequately trained child psychologists and specialists on child behavior. A large percentage of all prescriptions being written and administered is done by doctors who have little knowledge or training in child behavior or the nature of these mental disorders in kids. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html) A child used to be carefully evaluated by trained multi-disciplinary teams before the decision was made to put a child on medication. (Turner,

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http://www.brown.edu/Administration/George_Street_Journal/vol24/24GSJ28d.html) There are a mere 6,000 child psychiatrists in the entire United States. Pediatricians whom

are ill trained in mental health end up picking up the slack for the low amount of child specialists. (McManamy, http://www.suite101.com/print_article.cfm/depression/32180)

            When it comes to the case for medicating children ailed by mental disorder there are some points to consider. Is it safe to wait though possibly long running therapy when a child is suffering or possibly even suicidal? Depression when gone untreated has a 15% suicide rate as well as instances that involve self medicating with drugs and alcohol. Dropping out of school as well as trouble with the law may also result from lack of treatment such as gangs, violent acts, or a lifestyle endangering to themselves and others. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html) 

            While some kids may need medication when all other options may seem obsolete, others may just be eccentric or the meds given unnecessarily make them worse off. Giving kids the idea that drugs can fix their problems even if they never had any is hardly a good lesson to teach a growing child. One example of medications gone awry is Monica. Monica was given a combination of Ritalin and Prozac for bi-polar which switched her depressed and manic behavior into a single mode with "sad and wild features." Two years after beginning drug treatment her behavior was so out of control her school wanted her expelled. Kids with otherwise eccentric or slightly hyperactive personalities also get medicated when its not required. Some of these kids grow to become very interesting personalities and may use these traits to their advantage. Who are we to say this is bad? Children cannot just be dosed to the point of some idealistic golden mean. (Kluger, http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,526331,00.html)

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            Young undeveloped minds are still growing and chemicals can harm that development. Theories of neurodevelopment view the brain as plastic and moldable depending on environment including any medications. The frontal lobe does not fully

develop until the age of 30, this giving drugs plenty of time to mess around with the cerebral workings.  It is suggested to avoid making a child's behavior as simple as a medical issue.

            There are many other forms of therapy available to thwart and avoid drugs, at least initially. Child therapists can sit down with a child and the parents together as well as separately to find the root of any problem the child might be having if any. Psychologists even will go deeper into issues than a prescription happy psychiatrist. What needs to be looked into and discovered is the child's environment including but not limited to home life and school to better access why the child may be having difficulty or trouble.

            In essence another problem in this matter is that health care will more readily pay for medications than proper on going therapies. The cost of therapy may be more initially than that of a simple prescription fix-it-all but what it all comes down to is whether or not the children whom are this nation's future are worth that extra amount of money. Really being thrifty when it comes to the health and well being of these kids seems a bit sadistic and odd. In the long run working with a kid to keep them healthy and only turning to drug therapy as a last resort could save money in the long run if that is the case.

            In the end the populous needs to learn to get to know the kids we are raising and stop trying to slap a mental illness on them until we know something is truly wrong. Mental problems are not the only way to explain why children behave the way they do or

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someone's difficulty reaching and connecting with them. Occasionally medication is necessary but its not always the only way.

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Works Cited

1. Healy, David, MD. "Testing Psychotropic Drugs in Children". Alliance for Human    Research Protection April 30 2002. .

2. Kluger, Jeffrey. "Medicating Young Minds." Time Oct. 26, 2003   .

3. McManamy, John. "Are We Over-Medicating Our Kids?" Suite101.com Feb 22 2000. .

4. Park, Alice. "Psychotropic Drugs and Children." Time.com (Daily Rx) Aug 1 2005. .

5. Turner, Scott J. "Perspectives on Psychotropic Drugs and Preschoolers." George StreetJournal June 23 2000 .

6. Zito, Julie Magno. "Trends in the Prescribing of Psychotropic Medications to Preschoolers."The Journal of the American Medical Association Feb 23 2000 <http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/283/8/1025?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=kids+and+medication&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT>.